little things

 Hello there.

It is weird how waking up at 5 in the morning is such a difficult task now, when it was merely 5 pieces of cake 5 days ago or thereabouts. The weirder thing is that not only is it hard in the morning, surviving through the day itself is by all means more unbearable. I was never one for naps but just two days ago I found myself burying my head on the table and, just like that, dozed off - to a world free from Chinese characters scribbled across the whiteboard, for how long I do not know, but what I do know is that when my eyes finally opened, it was down to the last 10 minutes of class. Which was good. I guess. Now that was just one nap mentioned, the other one was after school. I was in good faith of spending the rest of my afternoon in the library cramming 4 chapter summaries of Fasting, Feasting that were assigned as prep during the absence of my teacher in literature class few days ago, and during which I did completely nothing hence the proposed trip to the library. Well I was in good faith of finishing at least 3 chapters, if not all, but the moment I settled down on my chair was the moment my exhaustion had settled down on my shoulders as well. So after an hour, more or less, for the very first time I left the library with one aim: I needed to sleep. The walk back to Irinah was the most challenging. I was so tired that I felt dizzy. I don't get this "tired" feeling a lot, so it scares me to feel this way. Dizzy... I've been getting this feeling again. Why...why did you have to come back?

On a brighter note, it is already the last day of the Secret Guardian game and tonight will be the revealing of their identities to their guardianettes - a person who is under the care of a Secret Guardian, Ryan came up with this term, thank you. Throughout this week, I see people rummaging through school bags, scribbling down notes, blowing their minds up guessing just who their Secret Guardians may be - all so wound up about this game. But there are also people who did not receive a single note from their Secret Guardians since day 1, and if they did, it was far from "words of positivity" - it pains me to see them so disappointed, it pains me more when I find out just who their Secret Guardians are.

I want them to have fun; I want them to appreciate the little things in life, because this is something that I am in process of learning, everyday, every hour, every minute. I hope this game had indeed put smiles on most of their faces. I would be really happy if it did, because I know it had put a smile on mine.

"It's the little things in life that count"

But the thought of tonight grips my heart so tightly, what if nobody shows up? 

Guess there's nothing much that I can do about it now but immerse myself in cold water and start off yet another day. But I'll pray. With a smile on my face and light in my heart, I'll pray.

And I've just let these little things slip out of mouth

- Little Things, One Direction