it's the truth

I like compliments, of course I do, but liking and believing are different. It is never the latter.

There are times when, for a few minutes, I would believe that I could do incredible things, that I was capable of making a difference in my life and that of others. I would feel the undying (be that mental or physical) support from the people I love, hence driving me to do the impossible. I would receive praises and metaphorical thumbs-up and I would smile to all those. Sometimes, I would even feel infinite.

But these times pass as quickly as they come. Before I know it, I am drowned in a pool of insecurities and shallow self-esteem, and down I would go, with no one to pull me up. And it's funny to think that I would just keep drowning. I couldn't care less... Even smiling is hard.

because the truth is, I don't like myself. No matter how hard I try to... I just don't. In fact, I hate every detail. Loathe. Detest. Abhor. It's just so hard...

I guess I don't deserve to be loved too... 

It hurts, it really does.

But it's the truth.