Reading back on the previous posts, I start to think - to think of all the roller-coaster-ride of emotions she has gone through and eventually finding solace in this blog. As I read on, I have embodied her character and it makes me want to pity her, but I know she despises it. It feels like a travel back in time, when I am once again reminded of all the ups and downs she has gone through in her journey. For that, I admire her for having been holding on tight all along despite the bad days she has had before.
She makes me want to hate her for constantly being so ignorant, so careless, but at the same time, her being blur just makes me want to love her a bit more. Just a bit more. But I can never do the latter, I've tried, but I never could.
Thus, should there ever come a day when she finally learns how to love again, I have my fingers crossed tightly that she will be loved more, like how she once did... She is exhausted from all the pain, and for once she wants to be loved more, to have the other to be afraid of losing her and not the other way round, to have the other to embrace her flaws and even see a difference in her, and not remind her of her flaws and inabilities and whatnot. One day, should she encounter someone who makes her see beyond her imperfections, her hidden beauty, that is when she may actually love again. I said may.
In the meantime, this girl needs to shower.
No comments:
Post a Comment