Waking up to a nightmare is bad. But waking up to a nightmare about your best friend is something completely different... Just know that - within my ability - I'll protect you. And I won't let anyone hurt you. Because it hurts me too.
So, this is it. Once again it's time to pack (did
that already!) at home and unpack (
dreading that...) in school. And here's what I've been thinking:
I miss opening my eyes to Teenage Dream, miss fumbling my way through complete darkness, and miss making myself hot milk, especially during an extra cold morning. I miss waking my best friend up and I kind of, kind of miss waking Jolin up too (despite the fact that getting her to wake up is like having...
Sponge Bob singlehandedly manhandling a
BMW x6 - just
what are the chances? Nada.) *giggling* I am aware that holidays restrict my area of creativity (not that it was any bigger before).
I miss walking to breakfast, I miss that I constantly wreck my brain for things to say to break the morning silence and then constantly wreck my brain later for saying the silliest things possible - but hey, I'm a morning person, my emotions tend to be at the peak in the morning, in a
good way that is! I miss walking to class early, sometimes with my earphones on to allow good music to take me away; sometimes I'll just take my time and take in whatever a school like KTJ has to offer me - good environment, azure-colored sky, energetic faces (of
course there are the "Kill me now" faces too) as people manage to sprint to class just
in time for the bell, or rather, just
in time for class - these two are utterly different, think about it. And how can I not miss running to the dining hall?
Oh how I miss after school hours. I miss playing basketball with them, and when it rains, I miss the feeling of unity, of togetherness when everybody moves over to the MPH (multi-purpose hall) to do all kinds of sports: badminton, basketball, rock climbing, even futsal (though it never really works with such limited space). It feels so heartwarming to be part of them, so cozy.
I miss having our beds being so close to each other,
almost touching,
always touching (even on Pathma days...well, we take our chances, *wink*). I miss the sleepless nights, that's when I resort to writing here instead. I miss listening to music to make myself sleep too. And I miss the feeling when I finally
do sleep - and the routine starts all over again. I promise, my life is actually slightly more interesting than words!
But then I'll also miss
now. I'll miss seeing mommy's face and sleeping in her room and lying in her bed (which is what I'm doing now). I'll miss having to wake up with so little sleep everyday just to catch breakfast with her. I'll miss doing house chores (ironing, washing, wiping...)! With me off to school, I wonder if she'll accustom herself to the silence in this house. The thought of her being alone just saddens me. I'll miss keeping her company.
I don't know what I'll miss more. I am overwhelmed with anxiety to start a new term, yet anticipated to kickstart my gear into studying again. I'm having mixed feelings now. I want to go back and I don't want to go back.
Does that make any sense?
PS. I wish this term would be a happy one. For me, for all of us! Here's to the second term of the dreaded Year 11/Form 5 - my fingers are crossed for you... In the meantime -
Suggested song of the day:
Magic / Adore You by Louisa Wendorff :)
Till then, x
