random thoughts

Have you got someone whom you see as your role model? Someone whom you admire a lot, would love to talk to, but just haven't got the courage to start a conversation with? This someone of whom, despite the judgements of others, you still see so highly? Because I've got one, and she's the one senior I sometimes wish I could become more of. 

In three days we will all break up for Easter, and in two weeks, when we come back to school, it will mark our final term in KTJ as a Form 5. As clichéd as it sounds, but 'where has all the time gone'? Yes, I cannot wait for IGCSEs to be over and done with, but at the same time, I am also aware that my days with them are limited, hence every now and then, I find myself counting down the number of  days that I can still see their faces, before I am deprived of all these heartwarming times together with them. Each time spent with them seemed like the last, but I guess this is when they are right to say 'live every moment as if it is your last'... But what they don't tell you is just how hard it is. How can one have the heart to just leave everything behind, and walk away unmoved, unaffected? How do you do that? It takes so much courage... Of which I lack tremendously. 

It feels quite lonely to be in the room alone. Ironically, the room is not quiet, because at times like this, silence is louder.