Change

I was tired and sad, thinking that the 'sad' phase had chosen to hit me at this age. But really, the more movies I watch, the more things I hear tell me that whatever I'm going through at this phase - my family, me - it is nothing in comparison. Nada. Nil. Nothing. With the happenings of my life each day, I should be the happiest girl in the world right now. Some are in awe, others long to be in my shoes. Me? I was merely blinded by the tremendous, obese, revolting word of 'perfection'.

I was too blind to see the pain behind his trademark smile and the fear behind her burning eyes; I was too blind to see their worried faces and their acts of concern; I was too blind to see the reflection in my mirror and too deaf to hear the cries in my heart - what more do you want? But as of this moment I think, I hope, I pray I'm starting to see the light.

Though words are beautiful, sometimes they are better off left unsaid, unspoken. To me, the absence of words mean more sometimes. But at other times, the presence of words gives assurance too. Such is life, I guess. One can never have the best of both worlds, but we sure can have one world at a time. In fact, with two worlds on our plate, just how much can we savor it, and just how happy can we be? But with one world at a time, we tend to make every passing moment count for something, for we learn that they may not be here for long in our lives... And this is what I'm trying to learn.

Appreciate
珍惜

Simple words that take a lifetime for some of us to understand, and I was one of them. But before I thought I had hit rock-bottom, I was the one who understood those words so truly.

"What happened to that happy you? Where is she?"
I changed then. I know I can change back.
For I deserve to be happy again...