I Can't

I'm always so tired. By tired, I don't mean just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. There isn't a day since December that I wouldn't feel the weight on my shoulders. If anything, the weight just gets heavier each day.

I cannot get any more tired. I was tired yesterday. I am more tired today. I felt so dizzy today during netball practice, but I got through it. How much more do I have in me? Because for all I know, I don't think I can take this anymore. I feel hot, prickling tears in my eyes now but I can't cry. I wish I could. I want to be hugged, a hug so warm and assuring, so that I can cry aloud. For once.

Even the idea of a blackout seems comforting. Because that way, I could vanish into oblivion, without a care for the world, for a few seconds. Even if it's just a few seconds, it would be enough.

I'm so dizzy.
I'm so tired.
I want to cry.

But I can't.